Elephant Food

[ more than coyotes love the moon ]

• xmas shopping, finally started!
• saw audra!  yay!!!!  LCD reunion here we come!!!
• got the soulmate her present.  well, one of them, but the main one.  yay!  now the rest of the siblings, god bless america.  my ADD does not help.  i need to stay focused!
• triple dinner date at craftsteak.  (really?  how did we not ask while she was gone??  epic fail.)
• strip club bday fail.  “….and another 10 for the bar….” “…bar?….” “…which serves unlimited soft drinks.”  hilarious.  his ponytail made it all the better.
• decided to be late night kids and finish the night at the mike’s MGM suite.
• “we always were the ones left, getting dragged around at the end of the night….actually, that’s kind of how we finally got together…being dragged to a gay strip club.” ”….we felt we had to do something straight.”
• so tired.  home before 1a and we were hurting.  felt good to pass out in my comfy bed.

show tonight.  yikes!  need to get used to that.  more changes!  yay!  ;D

almost home.  a couple more days….

lovelovelove

TM

[ if you're happy, i'm happy ]

• “……do we have any blind people in the cast…??” -me.  as i’m randomly/awkwardly/sleepily standing WAY too close to one of our bathroom signs and just looking at the braille.  sierra happened to walk right by and started to die laughing.  i pretty much made her day.
• soft opening went well.
• “and our contracts start today, December 16, 2009!!  we never thought this day would come!  ladies….we are the originals, the firsts of Viva Elvis.  OGs in the HOUSE!!!!”  i love our side ;D
• “i like that.  looks different.  you guys check out the new citycenter opening.  i heard that show is good.  you guys like VIP or something??”  some dude talking to alli and i as we were crossing the street from citycenter to hard rock, haha!
• rocked hard at the after party at Hard Rock Cafe.
• literally danced all night.  who do i think i am, dancing without stretching?!?
• Kabaybayan!  i love my Umali <3  and papa ;D  yay for two and half filipinos in the cirque!!!
• swept the floor with some fancy footwork with ‘fuckin’burger’ and silly, yay!  caro’s hubby can DANCE!  tried to get remsters to do something.  at least we got him to the floor, i guess that’ll have to do ;D

i could’ve danced all night.  but that would’ve hurt a bit today.

xmas shopping time, yikes!  just a couple days left till i go home, what?!?!?!?!

lovelovelove

TM

[ just keep swimming ]

• i dreamt remy was like a small, lost child and i was watching over him.  very strange.
• sleeping in feels amazing.
• woke up in ninja mode.
• cleaned the bird’s nest and did some laundry.
• off to work with alli and there was no parking spaces left at ou employee garage….so then we were apparently meeting alli’s parents at the monte carlo ;D
• dressed my banquette boys; victory & bird boy.  stage mom status.  why they don’t use their dressing rooms (where there are people to dress them!) is beyond me.
• starbs and mickey d’s.  food for the gods.  :X
• “isn’t that just like love letters.  you wait and wait and wait for them….and they never come.”  dear darla, i hate your stinking guts.  you.  make.  me.  vomit.  you’re scuuuuuum between my toes.  love, alfalfa. ;D
• the ‘A-good evening!’ story never gets old.  its the best when told to fresh ears ;D
• and……cue tears!!  i mean, we did NOT break character ;P
• i didn’t fall!  yay!  was almost beheaded but i’m okay with that!
• “maybe you should talk back to it, umali.  like dory in finding nemo when she talks to the humpback whale.” i proceed to mimick dory and make weird faces as i go along and papa fred chimes in, “i like your idea.  especially with the faces.”  papa fred!  always on my case!!
• two for paolo and stacey and one for the little bitty bobby.
• “it’s less like gazelles and more like…” “….those rhinos in tutus in Fantasia.” “bingo.”
• “can we get a time check??” “how about a date check?  what day is it?!?”
• rock concert status.  i love our band.  burning love is my new fave part of the show.  i wish i could see it live every night for that rockstar energy boost to get through the second half.

i know we’ve gone off the deep end and sometimes it seems as if you won’t be able to feel good or normal again….

but it helps to know we’re all in the same boat.  and that there are still some things to smile about like how jarosz’s dumbness makes for THEE BEST STORIES EVER!…or that Nog is back, along with her crazy scottish sayings!….or that our band rocks hard and can rejuvenate your heart, literally, at least for the span of one song…..or that I love you, and through all of this INSANITY, that has yet to change.

i’m glad i can be there for whomever needs me.  and i understand it’s even worse amongst the craziness of this show and process.  and sometimes i don’t know exactly what’s going on, or know exactly what you want to hear or what you want to be done……but i do know that i love you, so there’s that…and that my arms are here to hold you up, my hands are here to guide you and my shoulders are here for you to cry on. 

anywho…

tomorrow’s going to be rough.  parentals coming to town.  yee!

lovelovelove

fringe on booty shorts, jenn’s crazy.  ;D

TM

[ have a houdini ]

trying to hold on to our sanity right now is like trying to keep water from running through your fingers….

• snow flurries were coming down as i got my haircut.  felt good.  the cut, not the flurries.  they went away by the time i was done.
• full out after a day off and no class is a little tough.  burns a bit.
• set looks awesome!  which means its probably a little dangerous.  yay!
• “excuse me!  please step away from the hole!  do not proceed to get any closer to this massive hole in the ground!”  i love our techies ;P
• in costume for hours.  not the best ones to be in for hours either.  by the end of the night….some people were S O U R !  yuck.
• 30 minutes is too short.  “wow, that felt like 5 minutes.” -houston ”i know, it was like ‘well, just look around the room for 2 seconds then we’ll start up again.’” -me.
• kasten vs. the bird’s nest.  who do you think would win?
• “no! you’re too aggressive! it needs to be gentle.”  of course the girls would know how.
• apparently we were way too amazed about pockets.
• dancers lugging the acros around…..what’s new. XP
• “when in doubt thrust strobe fringe it out.”
• “tonight, i will pay homage, to Houdini!”    “Good evening!!!” -jarosz.  i love him to death and he’s one of my best friends, but honestly….just dumb sometimes.  he does make for the best stories though that get me to laugh so hard i cry….so for that, i am grateful.
• love chris houston.  we were getting creative with our fringe by the end of the night.
• then i hit a wall.  and chad turns around, sees my face, and is like “yup.  oh wow, you really did hit a wall!”  just…sleeping standing up with my eyes open.
• then grocery shopping and in and out with the roomies.
• not in till 230p tomorrow.  thank the lord.
• my parents come sunday, yay!

nighty night loverly people.

[ new 'formanation' ]

“don’t be cruel, to a heart that’s true…”

• girls’ quote wall.  muaha!  delirium creeps up.
• bird’s nest laughed for a good ten minutes straight about absolutely NOTHING that was funny.  and the more we saw everyone else totally unaffected and being normal, the funnier everything was.  just, tears in our eyes ;D
• fell again.  what’s new with swing, haha.  i was totally fine.  falling isn’t that bad.
• “the boys have a really straight line.” “maybe because it begins and ends with a straight guy.” -me  ”damn it, and our line begins with me. :( ” -marla.  fun times.
• inglorious basterds.  i saw the beginning and the end, then filled in the middle, but fell asleep before the end of the middle caught up with the beginning of the end. ;D

“…i’m gonna set you on fire…” (tabs version of the viva lyrics.)

• i still want the number 30 but i have definitely moved.  feels good.  miss far stage right though, ain’t gonna lie ;D
• tiffsters and remsters, still together for viva.  glad that that scorpio is happier now ;D
• added ayelstock to our wing.  scorpios unite!
• opposite of Monk.  we put our fingerprints on every single one of the mirrors.  we were delirious, leave us be.
• it’s nice hearing small compliments that make you feel like your existence (or talent) doesn’t go unnoticed.
• “when in doubt, thrust it out.”
• Blue Martini.  ladies night.  happy birthday celebration for jules and melissa.
• third time’s a charm.  friggin green apple martini.  i broke the glass the first time, just standing there telling a story to silcox, only two sips in.  babe bought me another, and this time Fred breaks it telling a story, again only two sips in.  he buys me another but puts it in a thicker glass.  oh goodness.
• jess and i tried to set some guys bum on fire ;D
• talked briefly with an old man who is either very intelligent, or just a know-it-all which i always feel are the opposite of very intelligent.
• nice talk with mountain bike mike.  which randomly segued into a nice talk with niva nildo.  which then randomly turned into talking with ollivier about first friends in montreal which segued into the history of me and dave…..just.  random.

“shuffle around like a little geisha!”

• up early to go snowboarding!  i like how john henry called dave’s phone to wake us up when he was right downstairs….in the living room.
• grabbed some mickey d’s breakfast.  heard the sausage mcmuffin is one of the healthier things to get at mcD’s.  yay, for my fave!
• pine trees and snow, so pretty.
• tested goofy, but i ride regular.
• met up with some techies!  i love our crew.
• the cutest little guy ever!  he was so good at snowboarding too.  i wanted to just take him!  i miss little kids.
• a guy named merlin gave me a dove dark chocolate and my wrapper said, “be the first to hit the dance floor.” ;D
• watched taking woodstock when we got back home.  passed out near the end.
• entered a time warp from 7 to 10.  felt so good to sleep!
• hands down, silcox is one of the few people in my life that i can honestly say will always make me laugh and be entertained.  i just watch him do normal things sometimes and it puts a smile on my face, haha!
• spaghetti on the ceiling and crumbs on the floor….aleks was getting reckless. ;D  “the asian in me is just in awe that you’re eating that with spaghetti noodles….instead of rice.”
• back to the bird’s nest.  clean and cozy and cuddled up.  a good way to end a perfect day off.

i hope my fellow elvii had just as amazing a day off as i did.  now back to work.  and actually, i’m not mad about that.  maybe because i don’t go in till one ;D

p.s. it’s starting to snow here!!!

lovelovelove

TM

[ smiles ]

today was a perfectly simple, simply perfect day:

• waking up in babe’s arms is always a good way to start the day.  gagtastic, i know…bite me.
• parking was ridiculously annoying.
• i finally have costumes!!!
• “why can’t we just do what we want?”  asked innocently, but brilliantly timed.  hilarious.
• starbucks.  gingerbread latte.  yum.
• more costumes!  i’m no longer just a wig cap and shoes!  and i was called a rockstar because i folded my clothes after trying them on.  i mean, my mom would kill me if i just left my shit laying around in a pile! ;D
• dinner with dave and seany, then we explored Crystals, citycenter’s shopping plaza.  normal people can not shop there.  the stores are CRAZY!  and it’s huge.  almost ridiculously so. 
• NAPPYTABS!!!  not trying to hurt feelings, but they saved us, they reignited our fires and i know the rest of our cast and crew saw and felt it.  feeling good.  “just one more time, nog, please!”  we couldve stayed straight through the night till tomorrow, we were on such a high.
• just in love with our dancers again.  our girls are hot and our boys are strong.  and hell yeah the girls learned the combo in less than 10 minutes.  straight from eggNog’s mouth.
• still on a high.  cultureshock is in town!  hopefully i get to see a few familiar faces tomorrow night.  hi Cuenz!!!
• coming home to our beautifully decorated house and our awesome tree, pete, just made the day even more complete.

good way to start off our work week.

lovelovelove

TM

[ bring me.. ]

once you set aside your pride, it’s easier to hear the words your heart is trying to say.

as of today, glad things are looking better for my fellow scorpio.

“where the heart is willing it will find a thousand ways.  where it is unwilling, it will find a thousand excuses.”

[ fennel seed foxhole ]

On our day off, the one day we get to sleep in, rest our bodies, and be normal for a quick second, a few of us dancers new EXACTLY what we needed…

dance class.

tovaris taught at the rock center.  it was like food for the soul.  the song was perfect too, Break Up by Mario.  talia and i ended up looking like twins.  what are the odds that we’d both wear our letter T tanks and our reebok sweats?  especially since both our tanks were just at the top of our unfolded cleaned laundry and our reebok sweats just happened to be lying on the floor.  scorpios think alike ;D  then we ate at cafe rio and shopped around town square for a quick second.  glad i got to talk and catch up with tals.  she can drive me nuts sometimes, but i love her dearly and i’m glad i can be there for her.

the roomies and i started to scratch at our xmas decor itch.  but we’re holding off because we want to get stuff together.  and one we get our tree, it’ll just snowball. ;D

stayed the night with babe.  he looked so friggin cute with his haircut.  walked into thankskilling.  moments of my life i will NEVER get back.  it was nice to be back to normal, hanging (well more like sleeping on the couch while everyone else hung out) with the usual suspects at shabooms.

started my immunotherapy today.  i have to do that 3 times a week?  hateful.

nappytabs are coming to play with us on friday!!!  could not be anymore excited!  just…..pee myself happy XP

saving silverman silcox. ;D

watched the Victoria’s Secret runway show and the first section was like superheroes which was amazing.  then they play kings of leon, sex on fire, even more perfect!  then a section with nature and birds, the most perfect!!!  those girls are so hot.  “you know it’s a recession when victoria’s secret models wear wings made from balloons.” -jarosz  “i just want to be them…..or be WITH them.” -me.  alessandra is a bird’s nest fave.  drool.

“i thought you had acorns in your lunchbox.”

“hahahaha you were like ‘OH MY GOD’…..wait……what were you saying ‘oh my god’ about…?….”

i booked my flight home for the 23rd and 24th.  so excited to be going home.  something to countdown and look forward to.  and my love is coming with me, so it makes it even better.  it may not be on xmas but it’ll still be that awesome mallari xmas party.  can’t wait to see people.

the first of december has already passed.  we are now officially IN december.  craziness.

[ exhale ]

I felt as if I had been holding my breath all day.  So happy to be able to breathe again. 

It’s funny because amidst this whole situation, I realized how much I’ve fallen for this guy.  And how much I really do love him.  And now, standing at the end of this debaucle, I also see how much he loves and cares for me.  We’re both not perfect, and things won’t always go swimmingly, but our hearts are on the same page and that’s all I really need.

this heart’s on Lockedown.

[ still waters ]

the good parts feel great and the less than glamourous parts, don’t.

but you work through it and it may be big, small, seemingly irrelevant or meaning the whole world, but you work through it together because you believe and know that you’ll get back to the good parts that feel great.

i don’t just let someone go and let them figure it out because i just don’t wanna deal with it right now.  that’s not love.  i will be here, by your side, loving you, and doing whatever it is that you need, even if it means just being here by your side and nothing else.  and if i ever hurt you in any way, big, small, seemingly irrelevant or meaning the whole world, than i will try to understand that and allow you to forgive me by being what you need.

but if you decide to let me go, i won’t come back.

i’m that girl, that person.  i won’t run back to arms that released me.

i just need understanding.  that’s all.  i promise you, i am less than dramatic.  i am not irrational.  i try to stay calm and collected and level-headed and honest.  that’s hard.  but i’ve said how i feel.  and i’ve also said i’m sorry.  and i told the truth.  and all i wanted and need is for you to listen and understand.  i got my feelings bruised by your actions, however small they were.  and you should care if something bothered me at all.  it’s not the other way around.  i didn’t do anything to hurt you.  you’re bringing up events just to retaliate and defend yourself.  that’s the opposite of listening and understanding.

the situation has passed.  i really didn’t need much time at all.  i’m actually quite over it this morning because i’ve already said and done what i can.

i love you, before, during and even after this is all done, no matter what happens.

forgive but don’t forget.  remembering, not dwelling in our mistakes, is how we learn from them.